It's been far too long since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!

Hey man, remember those two weeks during spring semester when your mom's house got foreclosed and she had to stay with us? Every time the two of you were gone, I'd rummage through her hamper and smell her panties. In all seriousness dude, your mom is smokin' hot.

James Carter, University of Minnesota

I went to a Jewish law school, and every October we had crazy days off for Jewish holidays. One year we lucked out with 3 consecutive weeks off, so a bunch of us decided to take a cruise. One of the guys who decided to invite himself along was just a straight-up douchebag... one of those people who argues just for the sake of arguing, is always trying to prove someone wrong, just an arrogant son of a bitch. He wasn't really anyone's friend, and by day 3 of the 7-day cruise, everyone (and not just the law school ppl) was fed up with him. A bunch of us were sitting around that night and someone made a comment that they wished this a-hole would get lost on the island tomorrow and not make it back to the ship. We all sort of looked at each other and had an "aha!" moment. Every night, the ship staff slipped itinerary under our doors about the next day's location: weather, things to see, and most importantly, when the ship was leaving port. And we all know that if you miss the boat, you're shit outta luck and have to find your own way to the next port of call. So the plan was casually work the wrong departure time into the conversation the next morning and keep repeating it. As everyone showed up to breakfast one by one, we made a point of saying that the time changed from 5:00 to 6:00. Knowing he was sunburned and couldn't stay out in the sun, we told him we were spending the day at the beach. He came with us, but after 3 hours of watching us swim and play volleyball, he headed back into town. We reminded him to be back by 6 and let him go on his merry way. Long story short, he had to pay his own way from the British Virgin Islands to Antigua and meet the ship there the next day. When he asked how we all made it back on time, we told him we got bored at the beach and went back early and just assumed we'd see him later. He never mentioned it, but we all think he found out that we messed with him, but was too arrogant to call us on it for fear of being wrong. Douchebag.
Dorian F, A Jewish Law School

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Jeff Rosenberg  from NYU

22 likes

What is turkey bowling?  Why are we writing about it?  No?  FINE! I'll tell you.  Turkey bowling is a "sport" practiced by bored grocery store employees in their off hours.  Imagine bowling but instead of a ball you use a frozen turkey and instead of pins you use 2 liter soda bottles.  If your grocery store is particularly cool they might even set up blacklights and have a Galactic Turkey Bowling night.  Turkey Bowling is so popular that the leader of the free world - for a few more days, at least - took a shot at it back when he was on the campaign trail.  President Bush bowled an impressive 9. 

The folks over at "10 Items of Less" dared the CH staff to Turkey Bowl and try to beat GWB's score.  We were all amazing at it, obviously, but only one of us stood above the rest.  So I ask you this, who do you think won? 

The Athletes

• Jake
• Sarah
• Amir
• Streeter
• Dan
• Pat
• Jeff

We'll pick a random commenter who guesses correctly and send them a MyStErY PrIzE!!!1!
View Article Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by CH Staff

8 likes

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by AmazingSuperPowers

25 likes

Every January First, each of the last 50 years, as well as the next 10 years, gather to celebrate and give a proper send off to the year that was. The time is 11:40, and the party is in full swing. 1959 is on the balcony, warding off cancer and other minor diseases by enjoying a smooth Pall Mall. Just as he does every year, 1969 is rocking an Iggy Pop and The Stooges T-shirt while hitting on every chick he sees by reminding them about the moon landing, but eventually striking out because he looks like Charles Manson. The '70s are all blowing massive quantities of blow, except for 1973, who's late because he ran out of gas. He'll show up later with the Chinese years. 1984 is sitting by himself in a corner, staring at everyone and creeping them out. 2012 keeps pissing everyone off by handing out fliers predicting the end of the world and his movie's opening weekend box office numbers. 1999 is still in a bunker, hoping to survive lame Y2K jokes. The DJ hasn't played anything but Dylan. No one seems to mind. The party is great until things suddenly get awkward when 2009, drunk off his ass, finally decides to confront 2008.

2009: Hey 2008, can I talk to you for a second?
2008: Sure, what's up.
2009: Dude, seriously, all I wanna say is, what the hell?
2008: What's wrong?
2009: What's wrong?! You're pretty much the biggest year ever, that's what's wrong! How can I possibly follow you?
2008: Oh come on, I wasn't that huge.
2009: Are you kidding?! You had everything! A huge economic crisis, a record shattering Olympics, the biggest election of our lifetime, The best Super Bowl ever, one of the biggest movies ever, you got Lil Wayne to release an actual album, and then, as if you didn't have enough going on, you get an Israeli-Palestinian conflict! Plus 2007's still upset about you upgrading his iPhone. Not cool. Not cool at all.
2008: So I was a big year, what can I say?
2009: Chinese Democracy for chrissake! Chinese Democracy! There was supposed to be legitimate democracy in China before Chinese Democracy, but you just had to have it.
2008: Relax 2009, you'll have tons of great stuff.
2009: Like what?
2008: The start of the Obama Administration, so you know there's going to be an international crisis, the Arrested Development movie, Watchmen will be huge! Don't worry, it'll be OK.
2009: Please, don't patronize me, Mitchel Hurwitz hasn't even started writing the Arrested Development movie, Watchmen's release date is in a legal battle now, and the only Obama news anyone will care about is the recession.
2008: Well I don't know what to tell you.
2009: Apologize for clock-blocking everyone.

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Conor McKeon  from Rhode Island

336 likes

I think it's safe to say that many college students, particularly those under 21 and without a fake ID, experience heavy amounts of boredom while at home or at a relative's house over Christmas Break. Aside from the first few days home where you sleep 18 hours of the day, the 10 exhilarating minutes of opening a dwindling amount of presents each year, and the few parties with your high school friends, you end up with several hours with absolutely nothing to do. I've developed three activities to carve away at some of the remaining hours between now and when you return to college, aside from the basic lame time wasters such as reading a book, watching the same stupid Christmas movies, or bonding with family you haven't seen in years.

 

(Note: All are tried and true.)

Start a political argument with the relative that holds the strongest beliefs: Every family has that one uncle/aunt that is absolutely entrenched in his/her beliefs, and argues blindly for his/her points without even considering opposing arguments. This is the relative that will change you from being bored into fearing for your life, which is a good way to pass the time. Start out with a small little poke to get them started and then just build their anger from there. Say for example Uncle Randy is in town from Detroit. Just make a little comment such as "it's a shame the government decided to bailout those doomed U.S. automakers" and watch the fun begin. Uncle Randy will then launch into a tirade about how the automakers are a pillar of the economy and their collapse could launch us into a second Great Depression, and you get hours of entertainment from telling someone exactly what they don't want to hear.

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Tommy  from Boston College

58 likes

.hl_name{font-weight:bold;}  Kevin Corrigan: I'm tired of making resolutions I can't keep. I resolve that I'm absolutely not going to go to the moon unless space travel becomes really affordable or I win a contest.Amir Blumenfeld: Lose Weight, Managing Debt, Save Money, Get a Better Job, Get Fit, Eat Right, Get a Better Education, Drink Less Alcohol, Quit Smoking, Now Reduce Stress Overall, Reduce Stress at Work, Take a Trip, Volunteer to Help Others, Holiday and New Year Health-e-Cards.
Jake: You clearly plagiarized that from a resolutions website.Jeff Rubin: I resolve to meat new people, I've been getting bored of throwing steaks at the same friends.Conor McKeon: To finally get over the rough patch in my current relationship, and accept the fact that my girlfriend doesn't want to shave down there.Jeff Rosenberg: TO STOP MAKING MY GRANDMOTHER TRANSCRIBE ALL OF MY JOKES PERIODDan Gurewitch: I resolve to stop playing God with insects. I'm still going to torture and kill them in cruel and creative ways, but it will no longer be part of a larger plan.Andrew B: I resolve to drink champagne and watch Ryan Seacrest count down from 10 more than once a year. In other words, become the classiest Ryan Seacrest stalker ever.Jake Hurwitz: I resolve to be a better actor, stop talking with a gay lisp, not be a sell out, and everything else the commenters ask of me. Thanks so much guys! I take all of your criticism to heart!!!Sarah Schneider: This year, I resolve to experiment more with my boyfriend. For instance, what happens when you combine radon, boron and tellurium inside a butthole?Jason Michaels: My New Year's resolution is to stand up for myself. Unless you think that's stupid, then I can think of another one.Streeter Seidell: I resolve to rely less on technology.

Sent from my iPhoneRicky Van Veen: Harder core pornography.Steve E: I would like to spend more time with family and friends who have passed away. I f***ing love cemeteries.Susanna Wolff: 1024 x 768 pixels. Also, buy a new TV. View Article Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Susanna Wolff  from Columbia

204 likes

Closer you get to kissing that girl you like
Guys who kissed that girl you like
Knowledge of the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne"
Noise
Actual words heard
"I mean, like, if you don't find anyone, and I don't find anyone, want to just like, I mean, whatever, it's New Year's."
View Article Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by CH Staff

109 likes

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Kevin Corrigan  from Rowan

176 likes

#10

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Kevin Corrigan  from Rowan

236 likes

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Jason Michaels  from University of Illinois

276 likes

#20

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Kevin Corrigan  from Rowan

122 likes

View Article Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Caldwell Tanner

573 likes

Jesus:

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Brian Murphy

165 likes

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Brian Murphy

205 likes

Keep Reading Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Jeff Rosenberg  from NYU

495 likes

From Serious Eats

The good folks at weblogawards.org have placed us among the finalists for the 2008 Best Food Blog Award, alongside a host of other fine contenders. Head on over and cast your vote » You can vote once every 24 hours until the polls close on Tuesday January 13, 2009 at 10 p.m. GMT.

With the holidays behind us it's time to take a fresh look at your nightly menu. Famed chef Mario Batali suggests to go back to the basics and dress up an ordinary skirt steak with some flavorful sides and spices — it'll please everyone at the table.

My husband and I watch a lot of late-night television, mostly CNN and the Comedy Channel. (It's good to have comedic relief after hearing the news!) Of all the strange commercials on during that time slot, our favorite is for...

I've seen some some sadistic gadget abuse before, but this video pained me to watch. Why would anyone attempt to harm a brand new Cowon S9? I can't even afford to buy one, and this guy is stabbing his with a knife! Check out how the S9 faired against cons, forks, knives, and whatever else this maniac had on hand:




Impressed? I know I am. Not only is the S9 a stylish device, but this video proves it's also very durable (well, the screen at least). The more I hear about the S9, the more I love it.

This video was sponsored by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Audio Players. PETAP would like to remind you to take good care of your DAP's. Feed it good songs, use quality headphones,and dress it in a nice case to make it happy!

Cowon S9 at Amazon

Clicking in to the Slice inbox today, we've got ...

GenealogyBank.com (a subscription service) has been adding the Boston Journal. I went through it and found the following long, interesting article [subscription required] on pizza, from 1903. This is two years before Lombardi's establishment opened on Spring Street in New York City, the so-called first pizzeria in America.

A similar, 1905 article from the New York Sun about pizza on Spring Street is on the Library of Congress website, FYI. Both articles spell it pizze.

—Barry Popik

P. S.: I just added a post on Pizza Margherita.

------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Barry,

Thanks yet again for some great research. I love getting these emails from you because they're almost always packed with some sort of nugget of newly unearthed historical information.

As someone who has adopted New York as his home, I'd have to say that 1905 is reportedly the first instance of a pizza license, which doesn't mean Lombardi's wasn't making pizzas prior to applying for the license. I would choose to believe this, just so that New York could keep its historical pizza supremacy over Boston as well as its ACTUAL present-day pizza supremacy.

Thanks again for the intel.

Hasta la pizza,
Adam